FAQ

1. 🍋 What is this whole 'aesthetic'? Did a therapist tell you to do this?  

A: Honestly? It’s our therapy. This is how we process our collective trauma from being online since the age of twelve. The iconic lemon with a knife, the cynical Zodiacs, the passive-aggressive tees - it's all unprocessed emotional baggage elevated to aesthetic status. This is just merch for people who have too much cynicism and not enough serotonin.  

2. 🇺🇸 Shipping. Do you ship to my cousin's house in Guam?  

A: Let's keep this simple. We only ship where it’s easy and familiar. We ship exclusively within the United States. If you live elsewhere, we're sorry that your country's postal service is too complicated for us. We're prioritizing our energy (and avoiding international customs forms like the plague). Don't ask about Canada. We're just not doing it.  

3. 💔 I impulsively ordered the wrong size. Can I do a return?  

A: NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Every item is Print-on-Demand. It's printed for you. Your mistake is now a custom piece of inventory we can't do anything with. If you chose the wrong size, color, or got a text from your ex and changed your mind—that's a you problem. We are not a loan service for indecisive people. Check the size chart, or deal with the consequences.   

4. 🛠️ But what if it’s broken? Do I have to deal with the post office now?  

A: If the item arrives genuinely damaged or with a clear printing error, we will reluctantly fix it. Because we have standards. How to Report a Defect: Report it within 30 days of delivery. No exceptions. We don't accept complaints from 2024 in 2025. Send us an email with conclusive photographic evidence of the damage. We need proof. The Outcome (Printer's Choice): We will issue a replacement or a refund. You do NOT have to return the damaged item. We're not making you stand in line at the Post Office. We are not monsters.  

5. ⏳ When will my emotional support apparel arrive? I need this right now.  

A: Patience is for people with time off. Your item needs to be printed, cured, packed, and then flown across the country. Expect the whole saga to take 7–14 business days. We know, yikes. But think of it as a delayed gratification exercise. If you're stressed about the timing, maybe order sooner next time.  

6. 🎨 My print is 0.5 inches off-center. Is this a life-ruining defect?  

A: Yes, it’s truly a tragedy. But printing has a tolerance of about 0.5 inches (1.27 cm). A tiny shift is normal, not a defect. The existential dread communicated by the design is still intact. Your sarcasm remains visible. Do not submit a claim for minor placement shifts. Find a real problem.