Sarcastic Witchy Tote: Mercury Retrograde Edition

Mercury is in retrograde again… and this time? It’s coming for you specifically. Introducing your new go-to sarcastic witchy tote for surviving cosmic chaos with star-aligned style. Whether you're blaming your texts on planetary misalignment or ghosting your ex because Saturn said so, this bag gets it.

💫 Looking for the perfect astrology gift or a funny witchy tote? This is it. Our bag is for:

• Women who love astrology and horoscopes 
• Fans of sarcasm with spiritual vibes 
• People who blame planets for their problems 
• Those seeking unique gifts for friends 
• Collectors of magical accessories 

🌙 Why you'll love this tote:

• Durable material for everyday shopping—strong enough to hold all your witchy treasures.
• Witty text understood by the astro-community.
• The perfect funny astrology gift for a friend or yourself.
• It's part of our "Astro Witch" collection, made for starry-eyed rebels with a wicked sense of humor.

🛍️ Product features:

• 100% enchanted cotton canvas
• Flat corners for extra space (perfect for crystals, tarot decks & moon water)
• Reinforced celestial handles
• Available in mystical natural earth tone & midnight black

Order your tote and let the cosmos (and sarcasm) do all the work. After all, who needs common sense when you've got great style?